Overall, this debate was like the opening night on the Bachelor; by the end you start to forget who's who, and who said what.
The debate began awkwardly, with the candidates entering the stage and looking uncomfortable to stand next to each other. And, who knew Jeb Bush was so tall?!
The first question was a hand raiser. The Candidates has to answer if they do not take the pledge to support the eventual nominee & not run as a 3rd party candidate. Trump raised his hand, what a shock! His attitude was "I'm not following any silly rules, I'll do what I want!" This led to the first fight of the evening between Trump & Rand Paul, who was probably the most confrontational candidate during the debate.
Jeb Bush started off by declaring himself the "Republican Godfather" by saying "they called me Veto Corleone!" Meanwhile Marco Rubio & Ted Cruz had clearly memorized answers to every question which made them look like TelePrompTer reading robots. Maybe that was the Cuban strategy for the night.
Trump dodged host Megyn Kelly's question about his comments on women because Trump answers what he wants to answer. On immigration, Trump continued his mantra of "Mexico is still sending its people & and our leaders are stupid."
Scott Walker unessecarily cupped his hands like he was holding when explaining his position on abortion. Except that it looked more like he was holding some berries or trying to drink water from a creek.
John Kasich memorized relevant data & statistics for the evening; Ted Cruz continued referring to an ambiguous 'Washington Cartel' (We still don't know what he means by this); Rand Paul delivered a lesson on constitutional history, his favorite topic.
Next fight broke out between Rand Paul & Chris Christie over national security & terrorism, where Christie stood his ground & weakened Paul's argument.
Dr. Ben Carson was largely silent during the night, before getting a question about his tax plan- he's proposing a tithe, 10% income tax from everyone.
Next squabble began between Trump & Paul (again) with Trump saying "I don't think you heard me, you're having a hard time tonight!" Trump Translation: you can't hear well since you're standing far away from me because you're not leading in the polls like I am.
Now we're about an hour in & this is getting tiring.
Mike Huckabee was asked about retirement plans and brought examples of prostitutes, pimps & drug dealers as people who earn income yet don't save for retirement. Talk about vivid examples!
Trump started a long "Excuuuuuuse Me!" when host Chris Wallace interrupted him. (Nobody interrupts the Donald.) Trump then answers question about his company's bankruptcies and Trump brings Christie in by saying "Casinos in Atlantic City is going bankrupt, Chris can tell you!"
Marco Rubio, taking inspiration from his last name introduces his "Repeal & Replace" everything plan. Or maybe he got the R&R idea from Rest & Relaxation. He then said that "future generations will call us barbaric for opposing abortion in cases of rape or incest" Um ok, not sure what's in his Kool-Aid.
Rand Paul forcefully stated "I don't want my marriage or my guns registered in Washington." Does that mean he owns multiple guns?! That is frightening.
On foreign policy, in true Trump fashion, he said "I want to say the President is incompetent, but that's not nice." Except that is exactly what he just said. Does he really not see it?! Topping that with some business advice "If Iran was a stock, you should all buy it!" Is this a debate or a Learning Annex seminar?
Trump then looked over skeptically at Rand Paul as the Senator discussed his plans for the economy, like 'Yeah, what could you possibly know about economic policy?!'
Ben Carson then says something but all we focus on is Scott Walker literally bobble-heading to every word Dr. C says.
Since we're finally nearing the end, we get to the "Unnecessary Details" portion of the evening.
Ted Cruz starts with a confusing story about his alcoholic father and Marco Rubio finishes off about his working class father who was a bartender. This leads to the possibility of a possible friendship between these two papas that led to the future of the Republican party.
Scott Walker, for the 50th time, reminds how he remembers trying a ribbon around a tree when US hostages were captured in Iran. (We heard already!) Rand Paul, reminds us for the 500th time, of his filibustering skills. (We definitely heard already, enough!)
And now, the official "hand waving, finger pointing, distracting gestures" event is finally over!
Megyn Kelly: "They don't look relieved that its over, they look like they want to get out of here!"