The only thing worse than swiping your metrocard five times is thinking you need a token to ride.
Fuggedaboutit.
Bernie alleged that Hillary’s speeches before Wall St. “must be written in Shakespearean prose to be paid that kind of money.”
Who knew Hillary was such a talented writer?!
It’s surprising the bird landed on the podium and skipped his disheveled nest of hair.
You know the president is running out of options when he starts auditioning for Dancing With The Stars internationally.
It’s a good thing President Obama decided to improve relations with Cuba now; Marco Rubio & Ted Cruz seem to be having trouble getting hired for a particular job in U.S.
Did the President really want to improve relations with Cuba or was he just tired of vacationing in Hawaii?
Whenever I hear about Congress taking yet another two-week recess, I seriously question the career choices I’ve made.
Some Senate Republicans are refusing to meet with justice nominee Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court.
This is understandable; why help someone get a job when you’re probably losing yours come November.
Donald Trump candidacy is like the school no one had in their brackets but ends up winning the tournament.
When asked who his advisors are, Donald Trump says he is his best advisor.
That’s one way to cut government spending; who needs an entire Cabinet when you have the answers to everything.
Now that Marco Rubio has dropped out of the race, there’s no longer a Cuban sandwich.
At the next debate, Trump will be ordering a Ted on Toast.
No wonder Donald Trump’s supporters are getting rowdy; he’s stopped feeding them Oreos ever since the factory moved to Mexico.
If the election process is a job interview, maybe we should all take on some added projects and wait for some better applicants in the talent pool.
Why does Bernie Sanders always motion his hands like he’s gesturing for the check during debates?!
It’s like he’s on a bad date with Hillary Clinton that he’s waiting for a moderwaiter to end fast.
Attempting to stop Donald Trump’s path to the nomination at this point may be as useless as a degree from Trump University.
Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders went from a CNN debate on Sunday straight to a Fox News Town Hall on Monday night.
Just like a family reunion where you have to spend time with people you supposedly like, but can’t wait to leave.
The GOP debate focused heavily on “healthcare”; everything from Donald Trump’s anatomy to Marco Rubio describing an exchange between Ted Cruz & Trump as ‘yoga’.
And March Madness is merely a sports reference?!
Mitt Romney spoke out about the dangers of electing Donald Trump as the Republican nominee, who endorsed him for that very role back in 2012.
Kareful what you say Mitt, KKKarma goes around.
Donald Trump finally decided to disavow an endorsement from a former Ku Klux Klan leader.
In his defense, he likely thought these were the Kardashians and he was happy to get support from California.
Donald Trump may be right that immigration is a serious issue threatening our country.
The number of American Oscar winners is shrinking like the amount of time winners are allotted for speeches.